Sanity-zation… An attempt to sanitize my brain

I feel like a loser…

I feel I am not good at anything.

I feel I have no passions,

And no destination to fight for.

I feel like a loser.

Slowly life is slipping away;

And I can’t get myself to step out of what I was,

To look at what I am and what can I be.

I feel like I am at the verge and holding on real tight,

I am afraid of slipping and afraid of falling.

I don’t know what to do.

I feel like a loser.

A person full of self-sympathy,

I seem to overlook the privileges I have,

How lucky I am to have certain things working for me.

I feel like I am unable to stop myself from digging my grave,

And soon I will fall into it,

Fall flat on my face.

Why is everything looking like a race,

A race I am not able to match up to,

A race I can’t figure out how to win.

Maybe cz it is not a race.

And in life things have their own pace.

But who will convince this stupid brain,

From overriding my thought train.

I feel like its slipping and I am really trying to hold on tight.

I am really trying.

But maybe that’s exactly where I am wrong,

Cz the tighter you hold the faster slips the sand.

When I look at my hands, they look so empty,

But that is not true.

You see, this is what I mean...

The brain overriding my thought train,

Without any restrain.

Trust me I am trying.

Or atleast I really want to.

But something inside is strangulating,

And in me I am suffocating.

I don’t know where are my dreams,

What am I headed for?

What is the destination, my Ithaka to fight for?

I thought life was hard before,

But it’s never been tougher than now.

Cz prison seems hard,

But the inability to move yourself in an open farm?

Is the worst of it all.

Common give me some strength you RBCs and WBCs,

You O2 and H2O.

Get those things moving,

So I can get set and go.

Allow me to feel that I am moving.

The fact that it is not a race,

And I shouldn’t fret at my own pace.

I don’t need to get anywhere,

Cz on my way I am crossing several destinations anyway.

The ground is not shaking, there is no earthquake breaking.

I’m trying to run behind the wrong train,

And that’s the mess I am making.

Common sit up, step out,

Breathe and spell out.

Life is beautiful and so am I.

And no one I need, this to certify.

Breathing in the freshness and the colors around,

I feel the sky above and my sturdy ground.

Now take it all in and deep within.

Remind yourself every single day,

That being you is beautiful, is the least I can say.